there is nothing but us
by jane hidell
Summary: A rather tense discussion of love between Octavius and his "children." And in Chapter 2, Otto has a bad dream!
1. Default Chapter

there is nothing but us  
by jane hidell

[The more I think about it, the more intrigued I am by the relationship between Dr. Octavius and the tentacles he created (and really, wasn't the wonder of _that_ little invention kind of glazed over in favor of the whole "homemade sun" thing? ). And so here is a little vignette I have written of an early "discussion" between father and children. And of course, the characters aren't mine, I just manipulate them with my thoughts.  
Hmm…]

Night had fallen, and in the seclusion of the old pier he was able to do without the sunglasses. He could see moonlight reflected in the tentacles, which swayed slightly in midair, he guessed for want of anything else to do.  
He wondered if the day's events would have driven him crazy if not for them. For it seemed like there was something…  
**_No Father, it is not just because of us. You are a great man. Your mind perseveres because of its strength.  
_** _But there's something I'm forgetting.  
__ **There is nothing but us.  
**_****But they were lying to him, and he knew it. There was something they were actively preventing him from thinking about; he had felt it since the hospital. His mind would start to drift towards it, but before he could remember they would distract him. Now, in the silence of the night, it was easier to concentrate his thoughts.  
**_Father, we only want you to be happy.  
_******_Quiet. Let me think.__   
**But if you think unhappy thoughts—  
**_"Rosie," he said softly. _Oh God.  
__ **We are only trying to protect you, Father.  
**_****"Get out of my head," he said futilely.  
**_We cannot.   
_****_And you need us.  
_**_You can't control what I think about.  
_ **_We do not want you to think of unhappy things, Father. It is not good.  
_** "Unhappy" was a bit of an understatement. There had literally been two things in Octavius's world, and they were both gone. Lost to him forever.  
**_No Father not forever.  
_** But the voices were in the background now, as he thought back on his life with Rosie. The damn project he could have done without, but not her. Not her…  
He thought about how she…uh, she—  
_Damn it! I've lost the woman I love and you cannot stop me from--  
__ **But we love you, Father. You must not be upset.  
**_ "You know nothing of love," he said quietly.  
The tentacles all faced him now, with what he supposed was curiosity. **_Teach us then,_** they said. **_If this "love" is so important, teach us of it.  
_** He stared into their red eyes, feeling more and more of his sanity slip away by the second. _You can't teach love. You just…know it when you feel it.  
__ **When do you feel it?  
**__ When you think about the person you love.  
_They briefly considered this rather tautological statement. **_We do not fully understand, Father. But we…feel…that we love you.  
_**_Then let me have my thoughts.  
_They hovered for a moment, then lowered themselves in acquiescence.  
He felt them lower the barrier in his mind, and suddenly he was on campus that day—when he first saw her, her nose buried in a book. He was struck by her, in the way it's only supposed to happen in the movies. Before he could reconsider, he had walked over and— Then on their first date, and she was so open about her feelings and opinions and he was already in love—  
And their first kiss—  
And her wedding dress—  
The tentacles shivered slightly, affected by Octavius's feelings but forcing themselves not to interfere. They watched his thoughts as people might watch a movie, trying to glean more understanding.  
What happened next, however, convinced them that they were right to have kept these thoughts from him. He would one day admit that they were right, and he would be proud of them.  
For as his thoughts inevitably came around to that morning, when he heard her scream…and he turned and…the glass—  
Finally the tears came, and they hurt his damaged eyes so much he cried out in pain. And now that he had started crying he couldn't stop, and the pain in his eyes and heart made him howl in anguish.  
Alarmed, the tentacles instinctively wrapped themselves around him, the only way they knew to protect him. Just like they had protected him from the glass that had killed the woman.  
**_Father please, you are worrying us. We do not know what to do.  
_******But he wasn't listening to them, lost in the hell he had created.  
**_Father STOP IT!!!  
_** He opened his tortured eyes and momentarily thought he had gone completely blind, wrapped as he was in the tentacles' cocoon.  
**_We apologize for shouting at you, Father.  
_****_ Please do not be mad.  
_****_ But it is not your fault! You have created greatness! You have created us!  
_**_At the cost of what I loved more than anything in the world.  
_Having seen through his memory what occurred in the lab, the tentacles innocently offered their opinion.**_ She should have left, Father. She should not have still been—_** "NO!!!" Octavius roared. The tentacles telescoped into themselves in fear at his sudden rage. "Never speak of her like that! She loved me, damn it! She…"Utterly defeated, he buried his face in his hands. _When someone you love is in trouble, you don't leave them…even if it costs you your life.  
_They considered this. **_We…think we understand better. We are sorry.  
_** **_But we cannot let these thoughts distract you.  
_** _Distract me?_ he thought bitterly. _From what?  
_ **_We still have work to do, Father. You created us for a reason, and it is up to us to see that your work continues.  
_** _But I was wrong. It was all wrong. I miscalculated, and it's all over.  
_ **_No, you were right. Others interfered. But here we can work alone.  
_****_ We cannot give you back your love.  
_****_ But we can give you back your dream.  
_** "Yes…I knew I was right…" Maybe he—they---could make it work. And really, it was too important a project to give up on…  
**_Let us help you, Father.  
_****_ Let us make you proud.  
You have us now.  
We are all you need._**

****


	2. bad dreams

[Another vignette. I have ideas for some others, if you'd like to read them. ]

Otto was trying, with limited success, to get some sleep. He had wrapped the coat as tightly around himself as he could, and though he hadn't asked them to, two of the tentacles had wrapped themselves around him, forming an acceptable barrier against the chill. The other two were keeping a lookout, servos faintly whining as they stood faithful guard.  
To say Otto's dreams were fitful would be an understatement; not only was his damaged mind concocting some rather frightful scenarios, the occasional image from the guard-tentacles would invade and disrupt them. One second he would see his wife's face, then – a rat scurrying across the planks. These interruptions would make him stir but not awaken, as his mind simply went to the next scene.  
The tentacles, for their part, could have seen what he was dreaming but chose not to. Oh, they tried, but the disjointed images of human dreaming perplexed them so much they decided there was no point. But they knew their father needed sleep, so they patiently waited while he recharged.  
One of the dreams, however, affected them all so much they had to intervene.  
  
_back in the hospital -- the tentacles attacking, killing, tearing apart the surgeons ... but ... but they're not the surgeons -- they're all Rosie, and she's being killed over and over, screaming his name, she's being ripped apart and crying for help and he can't stop them -- _   
Otto began to shiver uncontrollably, as did the tentacles as the terror in his mind began to affect them.   
Screams of _"Otto!!!" _echoed in their systems, and they were terribly frightened; for it was not their father's voice they were hearing.  
**_Father! Father, wake up!  
_** The voice continued to scream. Otto cried out in his sleep.  
**_Father please, you're scaring us!!  
_** But he was not waking up, and the tentacles had never had to wake someone up before. Assuming that physical pressure would do the trick but knowing humans were fragile, one of the tentacles gently touched him on the shoulder with one pincer. When that didn't work, it ever so gingerly closed around his shoulder and shook it.  
Otto opened his eyes, and for a few moments was close to the person he had been the day before – a genius with a loving wife, and his work, and a bright future…. But soon the chatter began, and he again left that person behind.  
**_Father, are you all right?  
_****_ We were worried.  
_****_ Tell us what to do.  
_****_ How can we help you?  
_** Otto sighed. _Oh, why did you wake me up?   
__ Y**ou were having a very bad dream, Father.  
**__ Hmph. This isn't much better.  
__ **Don't talk like that!  
…  
Now, have you had enough rest? We should get back to work.  
**_ Otto didn't respond, disoriented from sleep and rubbing his still-sore eyes.  
The tentacles were growing impatient. They decided to test a theory.  
_** Would Rosie not want you to continue working?  
**_ He snapped to attention at that. _Yes, of course…we have to succeed, for her. Her death must mean something! It must work!  
_ Their theory having proved correct, the tentacles buzzed with energy. _**And it will work, Father! We will make it work, for you!  
**_ Otto smiled as the tentacles lifted him to his feet.  
It felt so good to not be alone.


End file.
